Twilight: The Movie

So we went to the theater around 10pm and stood in line for an hour and a half before they let us get seats and they also let people who had just walked in go ahead of those of us in line, so I was already kind of in a bad mood. The radio station today said there were over 1200 people at the theater we were at last night. First of all, the previews before the movie started were terribly inappropriate for the movie, definitely not PG or PG-13. As the movie started, I was pretty sure that I was going to have some issues due to the way it was filmed, it looked really low-budget, grainy, not crisp like we have come to expect of movies, especially blockbuster movies. Kristen Stewart does a great job of playing Bella, but let me just say that I am now officially over Edward, poor Robert Pattinson was so awkward and puny looking, nothing like Edward should be. I was embarrassed when he was on screen because he was just so uncomfortable to watch. The entire storyline hinges on the reader/watcher falling in love with Edward right alongside Bella and he sooooo did not do it for me. I was honestly surprised to hear that people liked it. Even the movie review guy that was on the radio this morning loved it. There were so many times that I rolled my eyes and laughed when I am pretty sure we were not supposed to laugh. When Edward first smelled Bella in Biology class, he looked like he was going to vomit. Carlisle's make-up was horrible, his face was powdery white and his neck was tan, you could practically see his make-up line. I don't even want to go into Jasper, anyone could have played him in this movie since all he did was stand there, not move his neck and bug his eyes out as much as possible. One surprising element that I enjoyed in the movie was Charlie, he was a good comic relief and he added a lot to the story. When Edward was sucking James' venom from Bella's arm, it was just too much, I just wanted to hide my face I was so embarrassed at Pattinson's 'acting'. I guess I am hard to please and I know that the movie never lives up to the book, but I was sorely disappointed. I will go see it with Liza and hopefully see it through her eyes and appreciate it. Right now I feel like I need to read Twilight again to cleanse my brain of the putrid movie Edward. Maybe I am just tired and cranky, not that that is something new for me.

My favorite review so far from MSN:

""Twilight" can't fail. Even if it had scenes of naked men doing interpretive dance or sad clowns singing German opera, the screen adaptation of the hit Stephenie Meyer novel would slay the box office competition.
Sadly, the humor from "Twilight" doesn't come from interpretive dance or singing clowns.
Like a taco burp, it arises unbidden at all the wrong moments.
When Bella stumbles, as she does at least three times, it's funny. When the vampires first appear, looking anemic, unblinking, and impractically coiffed, it's funny. When Edward catches a whiff of Bella in biology, it's downright hilarious.
But don't blame director Catherine Hardwicke ("Lords of Dogtown" and "Thirteen"). The movie is faithful to the novel. All of those scenes and images, right down to Edward's glittering skin, come straight from Meyer's utterly adored world. Fans might laugh, but they're also going to love this movie.
(Confidential memo to Robert Pattinson, who plays Edward: Next time, wax your chest hair. Edward is supposed to look like he's carved from marble, not lambs' wool.)
"Twilight" is about a teenage girl named Bella (Kristen Stewart) who moves from sunny Arizona to rainy Forks, Wash., after her mother marries a minor-league baseball player. It's a self-sacrificing move, because Bella is all about self-sacrifice. She even tells us so in her opening lines of narration. Could she be any more perfect?
So it's no wonder that Bella is warmly (and comically) welcomed by the teens of Forks, except for one of them, Edward Cullen, who just happens to be the campus hottie. Little does she know he's one of a coven of so-called vegetarian vampires living nearby.
The mysterious Edward seems repelled by her very presence, even trying to switch out of biology so he can have a less offensive lab partner. But soon it is revealed that he likes how she smells. No, he loves it. And, like Antony and Cleopatra, like Romeo and Juliet, like peanut butter and chocolate, ~*Edward*~ and Bella must be together.
Wouldn't it figure that as soon as they get to kiss, something has to come along and wreck things? Without giving it away, one might wish Bella used a more effective deodorant. It would save all sorts of problems.
But it's like that Shakespeare guy said: The course of true love never did run smooth. If Shakespeare could have known Edward, though, he would have edited himself. The course of true love never did run smooth (darned chest hair). But it runs fast, even with a girlfriend on its back. Swoon."