Sunday, March 17, 2013

A Year Later

I'm having trouble sleeping, which is putting it mildly. I'm not sleeping much at all these days. Being on strict bedrest is exhausting, but not in the "fun" I could sleep forever exhaustion that you get after putting in a hard day's work, it's the mind racing, restless legs and body type of exhausted that just leaves you mentally spent and physically tired, but not tired enough...anyways, needless to say, bedrest hasn't been nearly as much fun as I always thought it must be for those who have had the "opportunity" to experience it. Tonight, after turning off the TV in a vain attempt to go to sleep, after tossing and turning for what seems like forever, trying to massage my own legs to calm them down, I just decided to get up and look at a bigger screen than my smart phone. Then I remembered that people blog and that I have a blog too, so I should blog...but where to start when you left off almost an entire year ago? I think where we start is here, today, right this minute. I think that would be a good idea. So right this minute, I am sitting here, enjoying feeling my baby girl move and stretch inside me. The kicks are few since she just simply doesn't have the room anymore in there, so it's more like really painful rolling and sometimes she stretches a limb so far that I can actually make it out through my belly. That really hurts when she does that, but it's way cool. I am so grateful she is so active for me at night so that those REALLY loooong night hours where the worry and anxiety and all the cares of the world can become overwhelming, I am reassured that she is ok. I miss the boys so much, but they are having a blast being spoiled by grandparents and great grandparents. Frankly, I am more than a little worried about how they will do coming home. I know Garth Le will do ok since he has more of a grasp on the situation and knows that it is temporary until his baby sister is born, but I'm fairly certain that Gavin is convinced he is moved out and he will never have to have a bedtime ever again. I know it will be a hard transition back to "normal", or rather our new normal with our new addition, but I am anxious to get them home and to feel like I am their mom again. Tomorrow, March 18th, I will be going into the hospital bright and early to induce labor and close the book on this very difficult pregnancy. GraceLyn will finally get to meet her big brothers and lots of others that have loved her and prayed for her for so long. She is one lucky girl. I haven't even met her yet, but I do know one thing about her already and that is that she is a very special daughter of our Heavenly Father that was sent to our family at this exact time for very sacred reasons. Her coming into this world has been a precious gift for our family in many ways. I'm not sure if we will ever fully understand how special she is, but I am looking forward to meeting this very special girl.

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