A Big Wish

Garth Lee and I (by the way, I am spelling his name Garth Lee now instead of Garth Le because everyone figures I just left off an E and we say it Garth Lee, so that is what he writes on all of his papers in school, so even though his middle name is not Lee, but LeBaron, which is pronounced nothing like Lee, that is now what I am going to "call" him...to avoid confusion of course) went to the mall last week when I was off and we did productive things like go play with puppies at the pet store, play at the mall "safari" playground and stock up on 'cheap' Bath and Body works $3 hand soap. As we were leaving, Garth Lee told me he wanted to do "one more thing", and this is how it went down...literally:

Garth Lee: "I really want to do something else at the mall before we leave."

Me: "There really isn't anything else here that you would like to do."

Garth Lee: "Oh, look, there's the fountains, I really want to throw a penny in it, do you have a penny."

Me: "Sure, that sounds fun" (and cheap).

So since I know you are picturing this episode just like an Oscar winning movie...pan out and cue the "du-du-duuuuuuh", you know, like when something REALLY bad is about to happen and the music warns you...man I wish movie music played in real life, like whenever I walked by Bath and Body Works, if the Jaws theme song would have played I never would have gone in...

I walk right up to the fountain, open my wallet, and my credit card leaps from my wallet into the stagnant, fishy smelling (there have never been fish in the water), bluish-brown, dead bug-infested mall fountain water.

Garth Lee: with a building tear "Mommy, why did you DO that, now we will never be able to buy ANYTHING."

Me: "I didn't do it on purpose, take off your shirt."

Garth Lee: frightened "Why?"

Me: "I'm going to hold you by your legs and lower you into the "water" and you are going to grab it."

Garth Lee: "You stay here and I will go tell someone to call the police to help us."

So he goes to the little nut (as in pecans and almonds) stand and tells the two 16-year-old girl workers that his mommy dropped her credit card in the fountain. In unison they look over at me at the fountain with puzzled looks on their faces and I nod to confirm that this 4 year old is not making this up. They, of course, thought this was HILARIOUS and had to laugh for at least 5 minutes before calling anyone to help. Garth Lee comes back to me, looks at me all ashamed, shakes his head and tells me I really shouldn't have dropped my credit card in the fountain.

At this point, I am noticing that the water is a little too deep to have Garth Lee by the legs and have him reach for it, so I have him take off his pants and I place him in the yummy mixture that is apparently 33 degrees and surprisingly deep, coming up to his waist, so he quickly decides that was not a good idea, so we wait 20 minutes for the "police" (mall security) to show up to help us.

The "police" show up and are maybe 17 years old and they think this is very hilarious as well, and I did too...30 minutes ago. They proceeded to use a wooden spoon from the nut shop to retrieve my credit card from the fishy water.

Then we ride off into the sunset with Garth Lee chastising me for "letting" my credit card fall in the water while he walks straight-legged across the mall to the car so he doesn't chafe from his wet (and fishy) undies.

P.S. I did buy some nuts from the girls that "helped" on the way out of the mall as a kind gesture, but they will be my last. I have made a mental note that they don't have the cleanest spoons...just for future reference.